Some gems gleaned from my cubicle neighbor’s phone conversations:

1. If we do that you will need a big platter, because my a** will be on it.
2. If they knew what they were doing, they would really be dangerous!
3. We need to hook shock capacitors up to their PCs.
4. Do you have a long stick? Is it sharp? Well, when she comes in you poke her in the eye with it! Now you will need to be able to cauterize that…
5. We might as well put shotguns to our heads.

Tags: office humor