So I’m kind of addicted to school. I mean every time I finish, a few years later I seem to feel a need to go back. Well I guess this is only really the second time, so we’ll see what happens 6 years from now. One thing I like about higher education is that you are no longer treated like a kid. From the moment I interviewed with the department chair for a spot in my Master’s program, I noticed the difference. It’s no longer teacher/student, you listen/I talk, follow my strict rules or else. Now I am responsible for making sure I attend class, that I know the material, and that I am prepared for exams. It’s a great relief and also a great responsibility, but that’s what being a grown up is about right?

Well let me tell you what ruins this whole liberating experience – the annoying student. Yes, you know who I’m talking about. There’s one in every class. This person may take on different traits depending on the situation or the level of education, but the bottom line is they simply cannot just come to class and act normal.

In my class, this student takes on the role of someone who apparently cannot concentrate without absolute silence. I find this fascinating given that in the real world, one must learn to be productive in various situations. I mean if you can’t function outside your own custom made environment, how will you ever survive, let alone be successful.

So this person, from day one, has had a huge issue with my small group of colleagues. It began with one of my biggest pet peeves – the shhhhhh. Oh I cannot stand that! I just think it’s one of the rudest, most anger-provoking gestures. Agh! I’m getting mad just thinking about it. So anyway, the shushing turned into comments about how whispering distracts him from being able to pay attention.

I think it’s important to interject here with some geographical information. I sit at one corner of the room while he sits in the other. Meaning that it seems almost impossible to be able to hear soft speaking from that distance. I would say that he has super-hearing but if that were true wouldn’t the amplified voice of the professor standing directly in front of him drown out the rest?

Several events have occurred, outbursts gradually increasing in hostility and “tattling” to the professor after class. I have to ask, are we in Grad School or Grade School? Well last week, the sh*&t hit the fan. He lost it completely. At the end of a class filled with purposeful silence on our part in an attempt to subdue the beast, a muffled conversation broke out within our group. Suddenly, he began shouting, “I can’t pay attention with the constant noise from back there! This happens every class and I’m tired of nothing being done about it!” To our laughter, he mumbled to shut up.

Our sympathies go out to our professor, who is caught in the middle of this one-sided drama. We are going to try to make it through the end of the semester without inciting another incident. We have come to the conclusion that we remind him either of the kids he hated in high school or the ones he wanted to be. I can only hope that I don’t have to endure another class with this annoyance. Wish me luck…

Tags: class disruption, college, college humor, office humor, teacher's pet