We all complain from time to time about work and the people we have to work with, no doubt. But it’s another thing altogether to feel threatened with unemployment. Although it’s no laughing matter, your boss may be acting funny for a reason. Take a look at some of the following humorous, yet scary signs that may indicate that the ride is nearing an end.

Creation of More Social Events at Work

These are those awkward gathering we’ve all come to know as “office mixers.” A sad attempt at a non-alcoholic cocktail party, trying to boost morale with cookies and punch just isn’t gonna cut it.

Increasingly More Casual Environment

You’ve been asking for it for years — and now everyone can wear flip flops to work. Hey — what just happened? If you find yourself looking like a fourteen year old skater punk at the office, you should wonder what’s going on.

More Contests

You know them, you love to hate them — contests! Yes, this week it’s who’s going to call in sick the most or cash out their vacation pay. When you start having arbitrary contests all the time, start working on your resume.

Your Boss Listens to your Crazy Ideas

Again, he or she used to say no for a valid reason. Try throwing out the most random thing and pitch it to your boss as an idea. If they smile and are looking like they’ll consider it, you know something’s up.

They’re Overly Nice to You

Hey, what’s going on here? The boss just remembered your name, patted you on the back, and tried to get to know you better. What are they up to anyway? Unless this is a commonplace occurrence, which it likely isn’t, this is a sign of the apocalypse. Go straight to your cubicle and start searching craigslist for your future’s sake.

New Faces

Unless you are living in a vacuum and work for the best company ever, you know that new faces asking questions is usually a bad sign. For more examples, watch Office Space. Consultant is Latin for “the guy who wants to lay you off today.”

This post was contributed by Holly McCarthy, who writes on the subject of the job search. She invites your feedback at hollymccarthy12 at gmail dot com.

19 hours and counting until my favorite weekend of the year arrives. That’s right, Horrorfest is back for it’s third year to warm the hearts of die hard gore and thrill seekers across the country. In case you haven’t heard of it, Horrorfest is an annual film festival featuring carefully selected supernatural and psycho killer flicks that were produced in the past year but never released. They are chosen based on originality, thrill factor, and the fact that they were too disturbing to release to the general public.

This one week event has grown increasingly popular with each year, and the creators have expanded the venue to include script writing, short film, and even Miss Horrorfest contests. Despite the onset of a potential cult following, the San Francisco Bay Area has dwindled each year in it’s theatre offerings. Each year my long-time friend, Jessie, who is also a fellow horror buff and my partner script writer, joins me for a weekend filled with back-to-back films from our favorite genre. It is our ritual to select a different theatre for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, each of which consists of viewing three movies with drinks and snacks in between. We have a strick rule of no other guests and we spend the breaks analyzing and critiquing the film.

This year, as we anxiously checked the web site for movie synopses, trailers, and theatre listings, we were appauled to find that only two theatres anywhere in the bay area are housing the festival! One in San Jose and one in Daly City, both of which are 45 minutes to 1 hour away. Even San Francisco has nothing to offer! It is absolutely ludacris. And to think that SF and Berkeley are known for artistic expression and originality. Regardless of how repulsive you may find them, it must be admitted that horror is indeed an art form.

Nevertheless, we shall overcome. Tomorrow we will leave our respective offices early to drive to San Jose where each day three new films will (hopefully) frighten us like never before. I will have a full report for you next week. And know that one day a film that we wrote will be released at, if not Horrorfest itself, a festival much like this one.

My three nephews received a Bat Cave for Christmas and numerous other Bat accessories. Mason, who just turned 3, immersed himself in dynamic duo adventures and was particularly fond of the Bat Copter. Soon after Christmas Mason began to tell me “Want the yellow Batman.” I would politely respond that he was referring to Robin, Batman’s lesser partner. He remained adamant that he wanted the yellow batman, and would move on to the next family member with the same statement. This went on through New Years, and I remained gentle yet firm in my responses, even handing him Robin on occasion. Nothing changed his mind or his tenacity.

I was visiting in the new year when my sister-in-law heard Mason and I going through the usual Bat conversation. She interrupted and told me that there was indeed a yellow Batman. “What…” I responded confusedly, suspecting that she was simply padding Mason’s self-esteem. She left the room and quickly returned with a yellow Batman. Unknown to me, the boys had accumulated no less than three Batman’s with all their gifts, two of which wore the traditional costume, and one who wore yellow (not all yellow, but enough to qualify). I apologized to Mason and had certainly underestimated his perception.

Nothing signals New Years in a cubicle like your jeans getting really snug. In my greater flights of fancy I am being prepared as veal in my office pen by some alien species, but in reality I am just eating too much. The endless supply of Christmas Oreos is slowing down, though, and talk is turning to entertaining forms of exercise (forget taking a walk, I need to spend $400 on a device with Blu-ray and an exercise game). Most of the cubes are empty today, and those that are here are trying vainly to do things they don’t want to do. It’s been a great year for Cubunga and we want to thank everyone who has pointed their browser in our direction. Happy New Years from Leonard and Veronica!

As we speak, I sit at home trying in vein to coax my work-issue laptop into receiving an RSS feed so I can view some online training videos. This is after an attempt at the office to stream the tutorials. Of course that resulted in a bright read Access Denied message. Next I tried downloading the files to which each replied ‘Download Failed’. Finally, I gave up and headed home and have now found that my laptop just refuses to respond. I have since reached the conclusion that it’s just too slow. So now I resort to using my personal laptop to complete this function. All this for some work-related training?

So why is it that we are asked to plan our professional development and cut corners to save the budget but aren’t provided with sufficient tools to succeed at these tasks? As you may have guessed, I do not work for a technology company and it is clear that technology is not the priority here. We are the last to adopt the latest and most efficient technological advances. But we deal. That is, until pure frustration from watching the little hour glass hover endlessly while the load bar reads Done. I wonder how many hours are spent each year waiting for systems to process. I’m sure someone has researched that. Well I feel much better having vented my frustrations at you. So back to the task at hand… only two more days before vacation…

Oh my fellow cubicle dwellers, I must apologize for my sudden disappearance. Life got a little crazy for me and I fell behind in my obligations, but I’m happy to declare that I have returned! A special shout out to Leonard who has carried the site all on his own while I was slacking.

As I write, I am sitting in a room that has been eating my free time for the past 5 months. Today is a great day because it marks the last day of classes for this semester! One final project left to present and my non-work hours will belong to me! Well, at least through winter break. By then I will be refreshed and ready to continue my scholastic journey.

If you are guessing this is the same class mentioned in the ‘Shimmy Shake’ article, you are correct. I can tell you there have been no further outbursts due to our efforts to keep quiet as not to disturb the beast. Now I’m just crossing my fingers and hoping that Shimmy doesn’t enroll in one of my classes next semester. Wish me luck.

So please forgive me. I have missed you all so much! I’m looking forward to an exciting year for Cubunga so stay tuned!

You are looking at Yahoo news in your cube, reading about some long extinct penguin that was just sighted alive. Suddenly you catch a shadow moving in the corner of your eye and speed-click off the page to your Outlook calendar. Thus the ubiquitous click-off. And your Division VP walks by…

The prevalence of this phenomenon hit me when I was making social rounds of the rows of cubicles. Often 100% of the offices I visited included a rapid click-off by the inhabitant. Using history as a model, I surmised that either some office workers browsed the Web all the time, or all office workers browsed the Web some of the time. What grief to upper management! The lost hours must be astronomical.

I am by no means claiming innocence on the matter. I have no idea how I would escape boredom and absurdity without instant Internet access in my cube. Like the Dr. Pepper ditty, I’m a clicker too.

Ah may favorite night! Wait I mean other than Friday and Saturday. And I guess Thursday since it’s close to Friday… But never mind all that; this is the one night that I actually watch prime time TV. It’s great. In about 30 minutes I will cozy up on my couch to watch House and my new favorite, Fringe. Tuesdays are great because it’s not Monday, and it’s not Wednesday so I’m not in class, and these shows are on. And I have wine. So that makes it better. I thought I better write this before that kicks in.

I just got home from my hair appointment, which despite the fact that they serve wine, has become more of a hassle than a treat. Remember when getting your hair or nails done was a chance to feel pampered? I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling that these outings have become nothing more than another chore to squeeze in between work and errands. I’m not sure that this is due to the increase in frequency or the myriad of items that now fill our calendars. Or maybe it’s because these maintenance items have become a necessity rather than a luxury. Never the less, at the moment I have shiny, yummy smelling hair that will be immediately destroyed by my styling attempts. And I am about to begin an evening of mindless activity. Bliss! Between endless hours of work followed by endless hours of homework, I revel in the tranquility of stagnation.

I know you have all watched at least one episode of House and if you haven’t become completely consumed by his relentless chastising and negativity that ultimately makes us (women) strangely attracted to him, then I guess you don’t share my elation. But if you haven’t already, you should check out Fringe. It’s like X-Files meets CSI. Great fun! AND it co-stars Joshua Jackson. Oh yeah, that’s right, Pacey Whitter from Dawson’s Creek. Classic! And all of you out there laughing at me right now should shutty, because once again I have allowed you a glimpse in to my cheesy, teen drama obsession. Is it really so bad to want to reminisce about high school and college? Ah, good times.

So I’m off! Happy hump day! Remember, only two more days til Friday!

If you noticed a recent lull in my posts, it’s because Cubunga got blacklisted on my company network. Instead of seeing the bucolic Cubunga jungle I’d get a nasty note that the site was inaccessible and if I wanted to protest I could take it up with IT. My (imaginary) conversation went something like this: “I have a blog where I make fun of all you guys and it’s imperative that I get on this morning to publish my latest story.”

What’s odd is that Cubunga always returns to the network - sometimes in an hour, sometimes in a day. We must have some secret admirers in IT! I tried disciplining myself into posting at home before work, but I ran out of time every time. So it has become a lottery and, if the site takes too long to load, it’s a sure sign Cubunga has been shut down again. Then no story for you!

So I’m kind of addicted to school. I mean every time I finish, a few years later I seem to feel a need to go back. Well I guess this is only really the second time, so we’ll see what happens 6 years from now. One thing I like about higher education is that you are no longer treated like a kid. From the moment I interviewed with the department chair for a spot in my Master’s program, I noticed the difference. It’s no longer teacher/student, you listen/I talk, follow my strict rules or else. Now I am responsible for making sure I attend class, that I know the material, and that I am prepared for exams. It’s a great relief and also a great responsibility, but that’s what being a grown up is about right?

Well let me tell you what ruins this whole liberating experience – the annoying student. Yes, you know who I’m talking about. There’s one in every class. This person may take on different traits depending on the situation or the level of education, but the bottom line is they simply cannot just come to class and act normal.

In my class, this student takes on the role of someone who apparently cannot concentrate without absolute silence. I find this fascinating given that in the real world, one must learn to be productive in various situations. I mean if you can’t function outside your own custom made environment, how will you ever survive, let alone be successful.

So this person, from day one, has had a huge issue with my small group of colleagues. It began with one of my biggest pet peeves – the shhhhhh. Oh I cannot stand that! I just think it’s one of the rudest, most anger-provoking gestures. Agh! I’m getting mad just thinking about it. So anyway, the shushing turned into comments about how whispering distracts him from being able to pay attention.

I think it’s important to interject here with some geographical information. I sit at one corner of the room while he sits in the other. Meaning that it seems almost impossible to be able to hear soft speaking from that distance. I would say that he has super-hearing but if that were true wouldn’t the amplified voice of the professor standing directly in front of him drown out the rest?

Several events have occurred, outbursts gradually increasing in hostility and “tattling” to the professor after class. I have to ask, are we in Grad School or Grade School? Well last week, the sh*&t hit the fan. He lost it completely. At the end of a class filled with purposeful silence on our part in an attempt to subdue the beast, a muffled conversation broke out within our group. Suddenly, he began shouting, “I can’t pay attention with the constant noise from back there! This happens every class and I’m tired of nothing being done about it!” To our laughter, he mumbled to shut up.

Our sympathies go out to our professor, who is caught in the middle of this one-sided drama. We are going to try to make it through the end of the semester without inciting another incident. We have come to the conclusion that we remind him either of the kids he hated in high school or the ones he wanted to be. I can only hope that I don’t have to endure another class with this annoyance. Wish me luck…