If you think your company’s stingy holiday offerings were lame…(we’re sorry, but paying a homeless guy ten bucks to wear a Santa hat and wander from cubicle to cubicle offering to pour shots of Ralph’s brand creme de menthe down our throats does not constitute a “Christmas party”—not that we’re complaining), just wait until you hear what they’re sending MTV execs as belated gifts this year.

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MTV Exec’s Gift Of Feces Yet Another Sign Of Hollywood Cutbacks - Defamer.com

The other day I was next door talking to a friend in another department and I asked if she had any snacks. She told me that they can’t keep food at their desks anymore because there are rats in the office! Maybe she said mice, but still, so freaky! Apparently, people were finding boxes of crackers and bags of cookies with little holes chewed through them. Even food stored in the upper cabinets was being targeted, which made me wonder how the mice climb up there… But anyway, maintenance came and put mouse traps under their desks. I’m pretty sure I would not want a mouse trap under my desk - it’s real funny until someone loses a toe.

So I’m totally freaked out now. I work in another building, technically, but it’s connected to the infested one, so how long before the mice make it over to my cubicle? It was at this point that I began to hear the faint cries of a very sick and hungry animal under my desk (no, I’m not making this up). Paralyzed with fear, I kept calling people over to hear the noise, but, oddly, it never happened when others were around. This went on for over an hour until I was physically jumping out of my cube, yelling “THERE ARE MICE UNDER MY DESK!”

My meltdown finally ended when a colleague confessed to rigging one of those moo boxes with a string and hiding it under my desk. Every few minutes he would pull the string and create the sick animal sound at the back corner of my cube. Dane, if you are reading this, you will pay!

Office boredom could eventually be the death of us all. I mean I suppose work should keep us occupied, but where’s the fun in that? In our cubicle jungle, our first choice of creative entertainment is practical jokes. After all, what could be better than having a laugh at a coworker’s expense? Or in this case, at the expense of many…

One weekend, after removing and scanning photos from our cubicles, then replacing the personas of various people with his own grinning face, our clever colleague return the enhanced pictures to their respective frames on our desks.

So Monday morning, we arrived to find that our friends and family had been replaced with our smiling coworker. His finale showcased prized pictures of various employees shaking hands with… well, Dane, instead of the CEO.

Check out these office pranks to use in your cubicle jungle. Why wait until April Fools!